3 Ways to Build Up your Emotional Bank Account

Emotional Bank Account (EBA) is a powerful metaphor created by Stephen Covey. The emotional bank account works just the way our regular bank account does.

In an emotional bank account, trust is deposited instead of money, as in a normal bank account, where we make deposits, save money, and withdraw later. The amount of trust you deposit determines your bank balance. Communication becomes almost effortless when the trust level is high. You can be yourself, and people will understand and respect you for it. And, when you make mistakes or unexpectedly offend others, you draw on that reserve, and the relationship remains strong.

Like our everyday bank account, an emotional bank account requires more deposits than withdrawal.

The emotional bank account requires even more deposit because, when we fail in our responsibility to keep the relationship healthy, we withdraw from our deposit. In our regular bank accounts, we withdraw the amount we have in mind; however, in the emotional bank account, we do not have control over the amount that is withdrawn.

Our most precious relationships require constant deposits, because those relationships continue to grow and change, and with these changes come new expectations. Therefore, it is crucial that you are always aware and you are consciously trying to build your emotional bank account. Here are 3 ways you could build your emotional bank account;

Develop trust

There is a saying that once trust is destroyed it can never be rebuilt.

Trust is the major deposit in your emotional bank account. Whatever you need from your friends, and others around you, their response to your need depends on the level of trust they have in you. For instance if you have not built adequate amount of trust or have not deposited a substantial amount of trust, when you request for favours from your friends, mentors and even family, they begin to give excuses why they can’t help you; but when someone else who has adequate trust balance ask for even greater than what you requested, they will go above and beyond to grant their request. 

Remember trust is the foundation of every relationship. Also, have this in mind; people invest in trust.

Remain relevant in the chain

Emotional bank accounts often have links and each link represents people within your influence. After building trust, it is crucial that you are relevant and have the required influence within your network. You don’t want to be the dead-end of a link; if people around your circle ask for help and you are always not available to help, it makes you lose your worth in the chain. Therefore, you ought to stay relevant instead of being known as someone who doesn’t add value. Remaining relevant means you are being relationally proactive; this means that you must also be there for others as you want them to be there for you.

Be Empathetic

When you are empathetic towards others, you unknowingly build in them the need to be empathetic towards you too. They begin to treat you just like you treat them and when they wrong you, they feel guilty and this guilt comes from their wish to be nice to you just as you are nice to them. Although major religions admonish its followers to be nice to others no matter how they are treated, we humans are often drawn to those who treat us well.

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