Motivation

Uncertainty is a word that accurately describes the world today, particularly my beloved country. Insecurity has turned into a hydra-headed demon wreaking havoc on the country. The guardian continues to push policies that further decapitates every atom of hope left, even with the ugly heads of banditry, herdsmen, kidnappers, and their likes, and the most recent baptism of perpetrators of heinous crimes; unknown gunmen; even with the insect devouring the kola from within.

Those who have lost hope, I understand your concerns; in fact, I am concerned as well. Who wouldn’t be? Recent events should teach us a lesson in leadership, starting with leading ourselves. The blame and excuse game has long been a Nigerian problem, but it now has a face. I believe that to effectively lead ourselves, we must learn to accept responsibility and hold ourselves accountable.

How do we rise above the rising level of uncertainty in the country and work towards achieving a greater good?

Do not be afraid of uncertainty 

Uncertainty creates a prison of one’s own making. Every unexpected event causes you anguish. You’re always in a state of agitation. Worry and unease will accompany you on your journey. When you’re afraid of the outcome, it’s difficult to move forward.

Understand that uncertainty is normal

Life will put you to the test in unexpected ways. It’s up to you to decide what happens next. If you choose to embrace uncertainty and accept it, you will have a competitive advantage over others who will dwell on the unexpected.

Uncertainty can bring opportunities

Where uncertainty exists, opportunities does as well. If you believe in certainty, you will miss out on opportunities. Your perspective shifts if you embrace uncertainty. Acceptance clears the emotional fog and reveals a plethora of possibilities.

Don’t fret

When you realize that the potential for growth is the intersection of uncertainty and opportunity, you’ll realize that every uncertainty has the potential for growth. Because of the country’s uncertainties, the change we’ve been clamoring for may just happen. Trauma forces you to accept the radical change that you would never accept otherwise. Extreme discomfort is often the source of the best things in life.

Therefore, don’t submerge yourself in the ocean of no control. Don’t ruminate on what might have been. Continue to make progress with the knowledge and tools you currently possess.

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Happiness is a choice which many people have realized but it’s up to them to intentionally choose it every single day. Happy people are not held hostage by their circumstances and they do not seek happiness in people or possessions. 

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Abraham Lincoln

Contrary to common belief, being happy takes effort. It doesn’t just happen. Instead, it’s the result of everything we do, and ultimately, it’s a decision we make every single day. No one can define or manipulate your happiness but you. At any given moment, it’s up to you to choose happiness and satisfaction over misery. 

We all face negativity and difficult situations throughout our lives. And while some tragedies are worse than others, there’s often nothing more we can do than accepting the situation and moving forward.

Our beliefs always define our reality, so if we believe that we don’t deserve happiness and that the challenge we faced can forever harm our mood, that’s precisely what we will experience.

No matter how hard the situation is, you can always decide whether you settle for negative or if you appreciate the positive in the situation.

“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.”

Mandy Hale

Are you finding it difficult to be happy, here are ways to choose happiness: 

Count Your Blessings

Happy people choose to focus on the positive aspects of life rather than the negative. They set their minds on specific reasons to be grateful. They express it when possible. And they quickly discover there is always something to be grateful for.

Always Smile

A smile is a wonderful beautifier. But more than that, studies indicate that making an emotion-filled face carries influence over the feelings processed by the brain. Our facial expressions can influence our brains in just the same way our brains influence our faces. In other words, you can program yourself to experience happiness by choosing to smile.

Speak Daily Affirmation into your Life 

Affirmations are positive thoughts accompanied by affirmative beliefs and personal statements of truth. They are recited in the first person, present tense (“I am…”). Affirmations used daily can release stress, build confidence, and improve the outlook. For maximum effectiveness, affirmations should be chosen carefully, be based on truth, and address current needs. 

Use Your Strengths

Everyone has natural talents, strengths, and abilities. And when we use them effectively, we feel alive and comfortable in our skin. They help us find joy in our being and happiness in our design. So, embrace your strengths and choose to operate within your giftedness each day. 

Eat a Healthy Meal

We are spiritual, emotional, and mental beings. We are also physical bodies. One aspect always influences the others. Our physical bodies will always have an impact on our spiritual and emotional well-being. Therefore, caring for our physical well-being can have significant benefits for our emotional standing. One simple action to choose happiness today is to eat healthy foods. Your physical body will thank you and also will your emotional well-being. 

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Fear is the greatest obstruction to happiness. Think about it, you will understand that fear robs us of the time we ought to have been happy. The time spent on analysing situations; who laughed and when or who did not respond to your greeting and why?

The fear of falling ill, losing a loved one, losing a job or the fear of not knowing the future; the fear of not knowing if your decision is the right decision. The list goes on and on.

All these fears rob you of the present and there is a lot the present has to offer. The present is the determiner of the future. Contrary to popular belief, things don’t happen by chance or accidents. There is always a chain of the future linking to the past; hence the importance of understanding the value of the present.

I have always argued with the school of thought that people can bring their thoughts to life. That you have the power to imagine yourself to be fruitful or to fail. But sometimes you realize that the thing you are most afraid of ends up happening. I have no other explanation for this than fear is capable of modulating your behaviour.

For instance, if you are always afraid of losing your job, you start losing interest in the job, and this shows by your lack of enthusiasm for the job; therefore, you begin to make lots of costly mistakes. Mind you, your boss doesn’t see your heart but sees the effect of your heart on your attitude. Just like when you are angry with someone, your countenance changes whenever you see that person. We don’t have control over these things. This is why we must learn how to overcome our fears.

The question in many people’s minds is if it is possible to overcome fears?

Fear comes naturally to us but most often, fear is derived from our inabilities and weaknesses. They arise based on our perception of situations. Yes, fear can be overcome. Fear like many other negative emotions such as anger and sadness can be understood and reduced;

Why are you afraid?

The first step to overcoming fear is to identify why you are afraid in the first place. A friend had this rash and decided to get it checked by a doctor, the doctor told him he had Miliaria Rubra. My friend came back seriously worried that he was diagnosed with a very serious kind of disease and may be life-threatening. Worst of all was that he wasn’t given any drugs. This made him think it was probably because there was no need for the drug and that he was probably going to die soon. His craze and gradual slip into a depression made us check for the ailment only to find it was heat rash.  

Identify the root cause of your fears

Yours may have nothing to do with the fear of having a serious medical condition (hypochondriasis). Identifying your fear will help you to identify the root cause of your fear. When this is identified, the next step is to work to become better than what you are at the moment. For instance, if you are always afraid of developing lung cancer, it may be because you smoke a lot; therefore, identifying the root cause of the fear can help you work towards quitting smoking. Or are you afraid of your inadequacies? Identifying why and where you are inadequate will help you develop strength in that area.

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Life, they say is full of ups and downs; how we manage ourselves is what matters in the end. The phrase, “when life gives you lemon, make lemonade” has become so common that you may think it doesn’t carry much weight. However, it is a powerful proverbial phrase that inspires hope and an optimistic can-do attitude in the face of adversity.

There are a variety of reasons why Nigerians are praised for their can-do attitude, but one that comes to mind frequently is our ability to weather storms. As shown by the country’s rising suicide rate, we are steadily losing this can-do attitude. Nigeria is the leading country in the African region, according to a World Health Organization report on suicide prevalence.

We manage situations differently and sometimes the situations may be escalated by our response. It is not that easy though, but the fact remains that no one person handles challenges the same way. We are not glorified by our perfections but by understanding our imperfections; understanding that we are imperfect will keep us alert; we then understand our thought; this understanding gives us a sense of control.

If failing is out of our control, why don’t we all rise after each fall?

From a young age we are hardwired to believe that failure is indeed fatal and is often associated with punishment and disappointments. Even within your family, those that do well are always celebrated and treated differently. Those that fail are reminded scornfully that the successful ones don’t have two heads. We grow up with the mindset that success is happiness and failure is the same as pain. This is why even as adults; some individuals find it difficult to forgive themselves when they fail.

I admit it is easy to admonish people to rise each time they fall; blessed with oratory, with a learned command of English or other languages, we give powerful speeches that inspire a roar in the audience; but most times the worry in their heart seldom diminishes let alone disappear. In the rave of the moment they feel inspired but this inspiration is often short-lived.

Here are tips to help you rise when you fall;

1. Understand it’s a learning process

Failure should be viewed as a learning process rather than an end. When you fail you consider reasons you fail, you recall the steps you took; and in the end you guide yourself and others. Treat failure as lessons that guide you to where you ought to be. It is natural to feel disappointed but manage your emotions and realign your focus.

“Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts”.

– Winston Churchill

2. Have a Strong support system

Sometimes if not most, even the motivator needs motivation. We lean on the experiences and support of others in difficult times.

Self-motivation is usually very potent but how can a sick mind give itself health? Hence, it is crucial that you build a strong support system; you could talk to a trusted friend, family member, colleague or boss. Talking to someone about your challenges reduces the tendency to go overboard and sometimes, just a simple ‘It will pass’ could be the strongest reassurance ever.  

I’ve had great help from my support system, my journey through education wasn’t a smooth one; attending 4 different higher institutions, studying 5 different courses will put an emotional strain on anyone especially those that support you financially. My journey through school was a tough one and sometimes they are people you meet that will make you feel even worse. I felt like giving up so many times but my support system won’t let me, she always reassured me of the things I could achieve and the wonderful things that lie ahead. My mums favourite reminder was “how will you know the value if it is handed to you?”

3. Believing in the supernatural

It can be highly beneficial to put your focus on the supernatural. Believing in the direction and guidance of God will help you sustain sanity in times of troubles. Having a strong faith and hope in the author of your life, bring relief because you share your challenges with him and believe he will see you through.   

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